Today only 2 months, 7 hours, 34 minutes, and 29 seconds until American Doll Posse hits stores. Today is already the last day of February, I can't believe two months of 2007 are already behind us. It doesn't feel like winter here in Florida at all-- it is 85 degrees outside, and it feels like summer. It's so nice--I have to tell you all about Rhapsody music service from real networks. Do not use this service to listen to Tori. I recently had a very bad experience with them. I signed up for a free two week trial online. I wanted to listen to Patty Griffin's new album, "Children Running Through" (which is absolutely fantastic and everyone should buy it or download it-- but don't listen to it through rhapsody). Well, anyways it was really easy to sign up for the rhapsody trial-- it's one of those where you have to give your credit card information, but if you cancel before two weeks your card will not be charged. So I put my info in, and go to the service, only to find out that my IS department blocks the site so I can't listen at work.
I figure it's fine so when I went home I got into the service and looked up Patty Griffin, and tried to put the music on my mp3 player, but it kept saying I had to pay 14.99 to transfer music onto my mp3 player. So I said screw that, and I just listened to the album online a few times. I couldn't find the tracks to download on Limewire, so I downloaded Ares which I hear is superior to limewire anyway. Limewire used to be good, but it got so bogged down with crap and viruses you can barely use it these days, so now I use Ares. Since I couldn't download from Rhapsody or transfer songs to mp3 I decided to cancel the free trial before they went and charged me. So I went to the website and tried to find out how to cancel-- no where to be found. It was so easy to sign up there should just be a button to unsubscribe and get out of it. After an hour of searching the Frequently asked questions-- (it's not in there-- although I bet it is a very frequently asked question) I searched the "Answers" section and finally found this form where it says, "Tell us why you are cancelling" and so I put "I'm went deaf and can no longer listen to music." They can't argue with that right? Well, the next screen is a phone number with restrictive business hours that you have to call-- and they put me on hold for an hour before I gave up.
I then googled rhapsody,-- and found out that they purposely make it extremely difficult to cancel because there are those who find it's easier to pay the 14.99 a month then go through the hassle of cancelling. I found a back door number that someone posted-- who also had a lot of trouble finding the number on the website. I called and immediately talked to some guy in India working all night in a call center. He asked me why I was cancelling, I wanted to say I went deaf, but that doesn't work so well on the phone. I said that I no longer wanted it, and I didn't like it. This wasn't a good enough answer, because Rhapsody assumes that the customer is an idiot and would like the service if they knew how to use it properly, but apparently I don't because there is no way I would ever want to cancel if I did know about all it had to offer. Firstly, I never intended to stay on past the free trial-- I told the man as much, and also told him I couldn't afford it-- he offered to extend my free trial another month.
I said, "No, just cancel it now." At this point he got defensive and said, "I am cancelling it, it takes a few minutes ma'am hold on and tell me the real reason you are cancelling." I had told him the real reason- save for I'd rather just go buy the album and have it, or download it for free from Ares. He kept me on the phone for about 15 minutes and kept asking me questions -- I felt like I was being bullied. Finally, an email popped up that said it had been cancelled so I hung up. But then I learned that a lot of people cancel adn their credit card gets charged anyway, so I'm definitely saving that email that shows when I cancelled. Now, I've made it my mission to spread how horrible and unethical the rhapsody business practices are. Not allowing people to cancel is ridiculous as one guy said to me after I posted on his blog about the experience-- it's the equivalent of walking into Virgin Megastore and not being allowed to leave until you explain why you are not staying. Today a survey from real networks customer support came into my email-- "How likely are you to use rhapsody again" -- Very likely, not likely, I don't know---- Answer: Not likely-- -which is an understatement.
I also put in the comments, that not only am I never going to use the service again, I'm also going to dissuade all of my friends from ever signing up for it-- it's like a deal with the devil-- or a cell phone company. I can't believe they make you sign a 2 year contract and renew it every time you want to make a change to your plan. Two years is a long time-- when I lost my phone back in november of 2005, and had to shell out $250 for a new one, plus they made me re-up my contract for another 2 years I made sure to change my plan to No roaming, because I knew I would be moving in the next two years and I wanted to be sure that I could use my phone-- so I didn't move until the next May-- I paid an extra $15 a month for "No roam" for 6 months that I didn't need it, but it's worth it to be able to change companies and have free will if I just wait until the end of this year-- two years is a long time -- how do prisoners do it?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
oops, I'm a bad tori fan...
So I didn't blog over the weekend or yesterday. I've come to the conclusion that daily blogging is to hard-- it's more of a commitment than I can handle. I'll try my best to do it every day, but I recently took on an extra project outside of work and I'm babysitting this week, plus I have friends visiting this weekend and Monday and Tuesday, so I'm getting ready for that, but that means I probably won't have time to blog. As of this moment there is exactly, 2 months, 1 day, 13 hours 2 minutes and 54 seconds until Tori's album comes out!
Today's blog focuses on the next time I saw tori on about August 2003. This was part of the Lottapianos tour with Ben Folds. I wasn't going to see Tori this time around because I was being so stupid. I had a horrible summer job working at a gas station as a cashier/slave. I wanted August 10th off so I go see Tori at the Auditorium theater in Chicago, but no-- it was impossible for me to get one freaking day off to go have some fun. I was stupid because I was quitting in two weeks anyways to go back to school, and I really should have just said, "well, I'm taking the day off and I don't care who you find to work my shift" but I was good and went to that horrible $7 an hour job. So then at the last minute Tori added a show the next day at Navy pier. I saw it as a sign that I was supposed to go-- so luckily the next day I did have off, and I drove to chicago on August 11th to see Tori. This show was great because Tori played a really, really long set: which went as follows:
Set List
Wampum Prayer
a sorta fairytale
Pancake/Ohio
Siren
Cornflake Girl
Liquid Diamonds
Concertina
Sweet Dreams
Wednesday
Band Leaves
Leather
Here. In My Head
Wrapped Around Your Finger
Band returns
Your Cloud
Strange Little Girl
God
Suede
Caught A Lite Sneeze
I Can't See New York
Precious Things
1st Encore
In The Springtime Of His Voodoo
Glory Of The 80s
Somewhere Over The Rainbow (solo)
2nd Encore
Sweet Sangria
Honey
Amber Waves
She had 2 encore's 3 songs each-- she almost never does. What was annoying about the show because it was outside sort of, in a tent thing, people acted like it was the county fair, getting up and getting beer and talking loudly through a lot of it. You just can't do that with Tori-- she demands your full attention. Also super annoying, people singing along behind me-- loudly and off key! I paid to hear Tori, mouth the words if you must but don't sing full out. If Tori wanted to have you do backing vocals, she would invite you onstage with her. Shut it people! Certain songs-- it's okay to sing along too-- like full band version songs of precious things where you're voice will be drown out by the music-- then I don't care. But please don't sing along to acoustic, acapella songs-- like "Me and a gun" Do at home, in your car any number of places-- just not while Tori is doing it live and I'm paying to hear her. I feel better now. Tori made a comment that her daughter said, "Mommy how come last night you were at the nice theater and tonight you're out by the ferris wheel?" Tori was like, "talk to my promoter sweety" Implying that she was not all that thrilled to be doing a show in the 'lesser' venue of the navy pier skyline theater. Nonetheless, at least I got to see her and it was fantastic! The drive home was pretty exhausting after a 3 and half hour concert that didn't start until 8, but it was nice. I foolishly parked in the $20 parking-- Since I know Chicago well, I thought about parking somewhere free adn taking public transportation to the show, but no train is closer than about a mile or so from navy pier and the buses and trolleys are unreliable late at night, so I bit the bullet and paid to park close.
And that was that! Tomorrow...Summer of Sin tour 2005!
Today's blog focuses on the next time I saw tori on about August 2003. This was part of the Lottapianos tour with Ben Folds. I wasn't going to see Tori this time around because I was being so stupid. I had a horrible summer job working at a gas station as a cashier/slave. I wanted August 10th off so I go see Tori at the Auditorium theater in Chicago, but no-- it was impossible for me to get one freaking day off to go have some fun. I was stupid because I was quitting in two weeks anyways to go back to school, and I really should have just said, "well, I'm taking the day off and I don't care who you find to work my shift" but I was good and went to that horrible $7 an hour job. So then at the last minute Tori added a show the next day at Navy pier. I saw it as a sign that I was supposed to go-- so luckily the next day I did have off, and I drove to chicago on August 11th to see Tori. This show was great because Tori played a really, really long set: which went as follows:
Set List
Wampum Prayer
a sorta fairytale
Pancake/Ohio
Siren
Cornflake Girl
Liquid Diamonds
Concertina
Sweet Dreams
Wednesday
Band Leaves
Leather
Here. In My Head
Wrapped Around Your Finger
Band returns
Your Cloud
Strange Little Girl
God
Suede
Caught A Lite Sneeze
I Can't See New York
Precious Things
1st Encore
In The Springtime Of His Voodoo
Glory Of The 80s
Somewhere Over The Rainbow (solo)
2nd Encore
Sweet Sangria
Honey
Amber Waves
She had 2 encore's 3 songs each-- she almost never does. What was annoying about the show because it was outside sort of, in a tent thing, people acted like it was the county fair, getting up and getting beer and talking loudly through a lot of it. You just can't do that with Tori-- she demands your full attention. Also super annoying, people singing along behind me-- loudly and off key! I paid to hear Tori, mouth the words if you must but don't sing full out. If Tori wanted to have you do backing vocals, she would invite you onstage with her. Shut it people! Certain songs-- it's okay to sing along too-- like full band version songs of precious things where you're voice will be drown out by the music-- then I don't care. But please don't sing along to acoustic, acapella songs-- like "Me and a gun" Do at home, in your car any number of places-- just not while Tori is doing it live and I'm paying to hear her. I feel better now. Tori made a comment that her daughter said, "Mommy how come last night you were at the nice theater and tonight you're out by the ferris wheel?" Tori was like, "talk to my promoter sweety" Implying that she was not all that thrilled to be doing a show in the 'lesser' venue of the navy pier skyline theater. Nonetheless, at least I got to see her and it was fantastic! The drive home was pretty exhausting after a 3 and half hour concert that didn't start until 8, but it was nice. I foolishly parked in the $20 parking-- Since I know Chicago well, I thought about parking somewhere free adn taking public transportation to the show, but no train is closer than about a mile or so from navy pier and the buses and trolleys are unreliable late at night, so I bit the bullet and paid to park close.
And that was that! Tomorrow...Summer of Sin tour 2005!
Friday, February 23, 2007
It's slowly getting closer...
Actually, the week has gone by pretty quickly-- and I haven't missed a day of blogging yet! Which is an accomplishment as it's hard to find time to write. Due to popular opinion tonight I will continue with my Tori Season journeys through the years. I wrote too much in my first blog and condensed many Tori shows into one lengthy post, when I could easily write a series of lengthy posts on each Tori show-- so I will do that starting with 2002: Scarlet's Walk...
2002 was a milestone year for me, I graduated high school and began college in Chicago. The wonderful thing about living in Chicago is that it is a guaranteed stop on the Tori tour circuit and this particular year was no exception. I was dismayed to learn that Tori was coming to Chicago around Thanksgiving. Now, I don't think I had made it home to see my family since college started-- (hi, daddy I think you are the only one who is reading my blog)but I sure wasn't going to miss Tori. So I stayed in Chicago over Thanksgiving and saw Tori at the Chicago Theatre the day before Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving. If Tori was spending Thanksgiving in Chicago, then so was I. But Tori didn't invite me to her Thanksgiving dinner, unfortunately-- I'm sure it was just an oversight. And I lived in the dorms so I couldn't really cook my own sad meal all by myself-- there was one other person in the dorms with me, and we went to see Harry Potter on Thanksgiving day at the bargain theater up the street-- shoutout to the Ghettoplex! A few days before Thanksgiving I was in my Christian Worship theology class and the Jesuit priest-- Father O. asked everyone their plans for Thanksgiving. In my account, I left Tori out, and said I had no where to go and eat a delicious meal, so sad, so sad.
Father O. took pity on me and another girl in my class who I knew, and who also liked Tori amazingly, and invited us to have Thanksgiving with the Jesuits. So the day before Thanksgiving when the dorms emptied out and everyone headed home, I hopped on the train and headed cheerily downtown to see Tori. The concert was amazing like usual. Tori played and played, I missed some of "I can't see new york" because I had to pee, but it was very moving. After the concert I knew I had made the right decision to stay and see Tori. The next day, I met up with my friend and headed over to the Jesuit Residence, affectionately referred to as the Jes Res. We were warmly greeted by the priests adn treated to wine and shrimp cocktail appetizers. Then the food-- heaps of deliciously prepared turkey, stuffing, fresh cranberry sauce, a million varieties of corn, sauces, gravies, potatoes, etc. It was a feast! I was told that one of the priests was also a gourmet chef; it was very nice. I was much confirmed in my decision to stay in Chicago for Thanksgiving.
To top off the meal-- dessert was authentic Italian pastries prepared by one of the Italian Jesuits-- oh, canolli-- it was so good. This was also my first exposure to expresso. I had never had good expresso before, and I thought the little cups were so cute-- so when all was said and done I drank 5 shots of expresso. I truly did not know any better-- big mistake. Another thing I love about the Jesuits is that they served me glass after glass of wine, fully aware that I was only 18 and not of legal age, but no matter to those crazy priests. So not only was I a little drunk, but also hopped up on caffeine like you would not believe. Then it got better- the Jesuit's-- givers that they are-- sent me home with 5 plates full of food- canollis and all! It was awesome, I ate off of that for the next week and a half-- hmm hmm hmm! So then I walked back to the dorm, and I felt pretty tired after Jen and I went to Harry Potter, but I couldn't fall asleep. So I went to the lounge and started watching the X-files marathon on FX. After 6 episodes, I still couldn't fall asleep, and around episode 4 I developed the worst headache I've ever suffered.
It was excruciating, finally I couldn't stand to watch any more X-files (which has never happened before I could watch X-files forever) so I went to take a shower, for about an hour and it still didn't help the headache or relax me at all. I stayed awake all night and through the next day, so by the time the Tori concert came I was exhausted. I crashed mid afternoon, but I was excited about Tori and nervous I would oversleep and miss her if I went to bed at that point so I stayed up. Tori was just as amazing, but I was so tired she seemed surreal. It was so warm in the theater that I almost fell asleep-- during a Tori concert!! Ludicrous, I know, but I usually fall asleep listening to Tori so I'm used to it. It ended up being quite nice, and when I finally got home that night I was never so relieved to see my bed and I had sweet dreams of Tori music all night. Lesson learned: go easy on the Expresso, it's not just little cups of coffee, it's way more powerful than that! But it was worth staying in Chicago- and I got to see my family at Christmas for a month.
Here's a clip of Tori from Scarlet's walk area 2002 from her Chicago "Soundstage" performance-- "A Sorta Fairytale"
2002 was a milestone year for me, I graduated high school and began college in Chicago. The wonderful thing about living in Chicago is that it is a guaranteed stop on the Tori tour circuit and this particular year was no exception. I was dismayed to learn that Tori was coming to Chicago around Thanksgiving. Now, I don't think I had made it home to see my family since college started-- (hi, daddy I think you are the only one who is reading my blog)but I sure wasn't going to miss Tori. So I stayed in Chicago over Thanksgiving and saw Tori at the Chicago Theatre the day before Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving. If Tori was spending Thanksgiving in Chicago, then so was I. But Tori didn't invite me to her Thanksgiving dinner, unfortunately-- I'm sure it was just an oversight. And I lived in the dorms so I couldn't really cook my own sad meal all by myself-- there was one other person in the dorms with me, and we went to see Harry Potter on Thanksgiving day at the bargain theater up the street-- shoutout to the Ghettoplex! A few days before Thanksgiving I was in my Christian Worship theology class and the Jesuit priest-- Father O. asked everyone their plans for Thanksgiving. In my account, I left Tori out, and said I had no where to go and eat a delicious meal, so sad, so sad.
Father O. took pity on me and another girl in my class who I knew, and who also liked Tori amazingly, and invited us to have Thanksgiving with the Jesuits. So the day before Thanksgiving when the dorms emptied out and everyone headed home, I hopped on the train and headed cheerily downtown to see Tori. The concert was amazing like usual. Tori played and played, I missed some of "I can't see new york" because I had to pee, but it was very moving. After the concert I knew I had made the right decision to stay and see Tori. The next day, I met up with my friend and headed over to the Jesuit Residence, affectionately referred to as the Jes Res. We were warmly greeted by the priests adn treated to wine and shrimp cocktail appetizers. Then the food-- heaps of deliciously prepared turkey, stuffing, fresh cranberry sauce, a million varieties of corn, sauces, gravies, potatoes, etc. It was a feast! I was told that one of the priests was also a gourmet chef; it was very nice. I was much confirmed in my decision to stay in Chicago for Thanksgiving.
To top off the meal-- dessert was authentic Italian pastries prepared by one of the Italian Jesuits-- oh, canolli-- it was so good. This was also my first exposure to expresso. I had never had good expresso before, and I thought the little cups were so cute-- so when all was said and done I drank 5 shots of expresso. I truly did not know any better-- big mistake. Another thing I love about the Jesuits is that they served me glass after glass of wine, fully aware that I was only 18 and not of legal age, but no matter to those crazy priests. So not only was I a little drunk, but also hopped up on caffeine like you would not believe. Then it got better- the Jesuit's-- givers that they are-- sent me home with 5 plates full of food- canollis and all! It was awesome, I ate off of that for the next week and a half-- hmm hmm hmm! So then I walked back to the dorm, and I felt pretty tired after Jen and I went to Harry Potter, but I couldn't fall asleep. So I went to the lounge and started watching the X-files marathon on FX. After 6 episodes, I still couldn't fall asleep, and around episode 4 I developed the worst headache I've ever suffered.
It was excruciating, finally I couldn't stand to watch any more X-files (which has never happened before I could watch X-files forever) so I went to take a shower, for about an hour and it still didn't help the headache or relax me at all. I stayed awake all night and through the next day, so by the time the Tori concert came I was exhausted. I crashed mid afternoon, but I was excited about Tori and nervous I would oversleep and miss her if I went to bed at that point so I stayed up. Tori was just as amazing, but I was so tired she seemed surreal. It was so warm in the theater that I almost fell asleep-- during a Tori concert!! Ludicrous, I know, but I usually fall asleep listening to Tori so I'm used to it. It ended up being quite nice, and when I finally got home that night I was never so relieved to see my bed and I had sweet dreams of Tori music all night. Lesson learned: go easy on the Expresso, it's not just little cups of coffee, it's way more powerful than that! But it was worth staying in Chicago- and I got to see my family at Christmas for a month.
Here's a clip of Tori from Scarlet's walk area 2002 from her Chicago "Soundstage" performance-- "A Sorta Fairytale"
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Kate vs. Tori: The inevitable comparison.
People always have these long-winded Kate Bush vs. Tori comparisons. When I was just getting into Tori, my Language Arts teacher told me about Kate Bush and Patti Smith. "If you think you like Tori just wait until you here Kate..." so I went to the local library and checked out a Patti Smith cd and a Kate Bush cd, and I didn't like either! I don't know what was wrong with me...apparently I didn't listen hard enough. I just didn't get into any songs, and Patti Smith seemed too intense for me. So years passed, and eventually I saw Patti Smith sing "summer cannibals" on David Letterman, it was an aha! moment. She was just as crazy in her performance as Tori. Not too long after I got the "Gone Again" cd-- I listened to it on and off, and eventually bought the Land collection which I love to death. Back to Kate...I heard Tori sing "Running up that hill" along with God on one of my bootlegs, and the song kept playing in my head over and over. I broke down and downloaded the original and listened to it over and over. Then I thought, "wow, this song is really good-- maybe she has some other songs worth listening to.." so I youtubed her and found the most awesome, crazy, fun and bizarre videos and performances ever! The Dreaming was the first one I saw-- check out these dance moves:
Another favorite performance is "Violin"
Kate is very clever, but her songs seem more straightforward then Tori's in my opinion. They do have many similiarities, but I enjoy their eccentricities equally. Because I am a newer Kate fan, I haven't had time to digest her entire catologue, but I have loved almost everything of hers that I have heard-- especially "The Dreaming" album.
Another favorite performance is "Violin"
Kate is very clever, but her songs seem more straightforward then Tori's in my opinion. They do have many similiarities, but I enjoy their eccentricities equally. Because I am a newer Kate fan, I haven't had time to digest her entire catologue, but I have loved almost everything of hers that I have heard-- especially "The Dreaming" album.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Shame is the Shadow of Love
I'm taking a break from yesterday's initiation into Tori Season and today would like to offer some thoughts on one of the elements in the new Tori photo. She has the word "Shame" written on the palm of her hand. What does this mean? Knowing Tori's fondness for writing on her hands, it wouldn't surprise me if she routinely had the word 'shame' written on her hand, and it just happened to be included in the photo, but of course, I do know better than that. Tori is quite deliberate with these types of things. So lets take a look, when has Tori mentioned "shame" and in what context?
It's probably easier to ask, when hasn't she mentioned shame?
Personally, I think shaming someone is one of the worst things you can do. When I was young and my brother was younger, we were walking through Wal-Mart and I started looking at the lingerie and I told my brother he should feel the texture and the silkiness of the underwear, and his little face got all red. He wouldn't do it, but I kept on persisting that he just had to feel it. So finally, out of annoyance he reached out his little hand and the second he touched the fabric, I screamed "PERVERT!" and ran away. It wasn't very nice, but it was extremely funny...to me.
Key definitions of shame:
Dishonor: bring shame or dishonor upon. a painful emotion resulting from an awareness of inadequacy or guilt pity: an unfortunate development. surpass or beat by a wide margin
Shame is a social condition and a form of social control consisting of an emotional state and a set of behaviors, caused by the consciousness or awareness of having acted inappropriately. Intense shame may lead to depression or suicide.
"Shame shame time to leave me now
Shame shame you’ve had your fun
Shame shame for letting me think that I would be the one"
"Well happy birthday
her blood's on my hands
it's kind of a shame cause i did like that dress"
In her lyrics she uses shame in the it's a pity or "shame on you" teasing variety, but in her interviews shame is quite a serious matter.
Now as I read these quotes lifted from various interviews, I always imagine my Tori speaking in that unique stilted cadence that she always sinks into when she's talking very seriously.
Exhibit A:
“I don’t have to try in the least to shock people. My beliefs are sufficiently shocking to most people. Because we live in a culture where passion and sexuality have been replaced by shame. We are miles away from our hearts, our feelings. In Greek mythology the gods were sleeping with humans all the time. But the Christians claim Jesus was fathered without a single drop of sperm. There wasn’t even a penis involved. It’s a religion without penetration. And subsequently the same believers take their swords and chop the non-believers to pieces, stab babies to death and burn witches at the stake. And you think I’m shocking when I say I gave God a blowjob? Give me a fucking break!”
I said, Dad, why are we so controlled and why do we feel so much shame? This is not what this rebel was talking about. And as I started to study, I really opened myself up to a lot of different belief systems. My dad really wanted me to write religious music...and he got his wish I guess."
-- Tori; MTV Revue, Nov 4, 1998
Tori: Well, Protestants have guilt just as much as Catholics. I mean, it's all about, "shame, shame, shame, I'm so bad that I had that thought of that choirboy. But I was always having those thoughts." You know, I always had those.
Let’s be honest, religion has not supported women and men exploring all sorts of their sides, their unconscious. It has not been supportive of, you know, go into the places without shame, without blame, without judgment, and just let yourself really see what’s cooking in there.
Tori: Well, the songs have layers to them. It's not... nothing's really about one thing. Although this goes back to my childhood and all the sexual shame, the shame for a woman being passionate, a woman, a young girl feeling passionate and um, wanting to try and express that. But you either get into the good girl-bad girl case here, and what defines a good girl, and what defines a bad girl, and more important than anything for me growing up was, I wanted respect, especially from my father. So, of course I aligned with the Magdalene, and everyone else was aligning with the Virgin Mary. And the Virgin Mary actually had babies later that people don't really want to talk about. She obviously "did it" and people just have a hard time dealing with that. And um, this is about a girl that masturbates to survive, to really try and reclaim a part of her sexuality before they kill it, numb it out of her.
And um, there's a lot of shame in the major religions. I'm much more -- my mother's part Native American -- and I really believe that unless the religions expand, um, they just won't serve the people anymore, because people are going to the well, to the source.
“As women we are simply shaming men by saying ‘all men are rapists’ and I don’t believe in shame. That’s just Christianity in another guise, shame as a form of disease, a poison. As a woman I refuse to buy into that any more.
For Tori "shame" seems to be intrinsically linked To Christianity -- thus shame on one hand and the bible in the other. They are two sides of the same coin. There is speculation concerning young hollywood's lack of morals, Britney's a mess-- and my life can not be whole unless I know Britney is ok-- although Camille Paglia has a theory on Britney:
Feminist professor Camille Paglia has identified the exact moment Britney Spears "jumped the shark" (a reference to the "Happy Days" episode that marked the start of the series' decline). "A great promise was contained in the moment when Madonna kissed Britney at the MTV Awards," Paglia told Us Magazine's Web site. "She in a sense was saying, 'I'm passing the torch to you.' It was a fabulous moment. Britney looked toned, in control of her career . . . Literally from that kiss, from that moment onward, Britney has spiraled out of control. It's like Madonna gave her the kiss of death."
Hmm...I do wonder if Tori watches "Desperate Housewives." Instead of Bree, Lynette, Susan and Gabrielle-- what if the housewives of Wisteria lane were Tori, PJ, Ani, and Bjork and Madonna could be like the Edie-- always around, but doesn't quite fit in.
Interesting link:
A discussion about Tori's music from a Catholic standpoint:
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=132539
It's probably easier to ask, when hasn't she mentioned shame?
Personally, I think shaming someone is one of the worst things you can do. When I was young and my brother was younger, we were walking through Wal-Mart and I started looking at the lingerie and I told my brother he should feel the texture and the silkiness of the underwear, and his little face got all red. He wouldn't do it, but I kept on persisting that he just had to feel it. So finally, out of annoyance he reached out his little hand and the second he touched the fabric, I screamed "PERVERT!" and ran away. It wasn't very nice, but it was extremely funny...to me.
Key definitions of shame:
Shame is a social condition and a form of social control consisting of an emotional state and a set of behaviors, caused by the consciousness or awareness of having acted inappropriately. Intense shame may lead to depression or suicide.
"Shame shame time to leave me now
Shame shame you’ve had your fun
Shame shame for letting me think that I would be the one"
"Well happy birthday
her blood's on my hands
it's kind of a shame cause i did like that dress"
In her lyrics she uses shame in the it's a pity or "shame on you" teasing variety, but in her interviews shame is quite a serious matter.
Now as I read these quotes lifted from various interviews, I always imagine my Tori speaking in that unique stilted cadence that she always sinks into when she's talking very seriously.
Exhibit A:
“I don’t have to try in the least to shock people. My beliefs are sufficiently shocking to most people. Because we live in a culture where passion and sexuality have been replaced by shame. We are miles away from our hearts, our feelings. In Greek mythology the gods were sleeping with humans all the time. But the Christians claim Jesus was fathered without a single drop of sperm. There wasn’t even a penis involved. It’s a religion without penetration. And subsequently the same believers take their swords and chop the non-believers to pieces, stab babies to death and burn witches at the stake. And you think I’m shocking when I say I gave God a blowjob? Give me a fucking break!”
I said, Dad, why are we so controlled and why do we feel so much shame? This is not what this rebel was talking about. And as I started to study, I really opened myself up to a lot of different belief systems. My dad really wanted me to write religious music...and he got his wish I guess."
-- Tori; MTV Revue, Nov 4, 1998
Tori: Well, Protestants have guilt just as much as Catholics. I mean, it's all about, "shame, shame, shame, I'm so bad that I had that thought of that choirboy. But I was always having those thoughts." You know, I always had those.
Let’s be honest, religion has not supported women and men exploring all sorts of their sides, their unconscious. It has not been supportive of, you know, go into the places without shame, without blame, without judgment, and just let yourself really see what’s cooking in there.
Tori: Well, the songs have layers to them. It's not... nothing's really about one thing. Although this goes back to my childhood and all the sexual shame, the shame for a woman being passionate, a woman, a young girl feeling passionate and um, wanting to try and express that. But you either get into the good girl-bad girl case here, and what defines a good girl, and what defines a bad girl, and more important than anything for me growing up was, I wanted respect, especially from my father. So, of course I aligned with the Magdalene, and everyone else was aligning with the Virgin Mary. And the Virgin Mary actually had babies later that people don't really want to talk about. She obviously "did it" and people just have a hard time dealing with that. And um, this is about a girl that masturbates to survive, to really try and reclaim a part of her sexuality before they kill it, numb it out of her.
And um, there's a lot of shame in the major religions. I'm much more -- my mother's part Native American -- and I really believe that unless the religions expand, um, they just won't serve the people anymore, because people are going to the well, to the source.
“As women we are simply shaming men by saying ‘all men are rapists’ and I don’t believe in shame. That’s just Christianity in another guise, shame as a form of disease, a poison. As a woman I refuse to buy into that any more.
For Tori "shame" seems to be intrinsically linked To Christianity -- thus shame on one hand and the bible in the other. They are two sides of the same coin. There is speculation concerning young hollywood's lack of morals, Britney's a mess-- and my life can not be whole unless I know Britney is ok-- although Camille Paglia has a theory on Britney:
Feminist professor Camille Paglia has identified the exact moment Britney Spears "jumped the shark" (a reference to the "Happy Days" episode that marked the start of the series' decline). "A great promise was contained in the moment when Madonna kissed Britney at the MTV Awards," Paglia told Us Magazine's Web site. "She in a sense was saying, 'I'm passing the torch to you.' It was a fabulous moment. Britney looked toned, in control of her career . . . Literally from that kiss, from that moment onward, Britney has spiraled out of control. It's like Madonna gave her the kiss of death."
Hmm...I do wonder if Tori watches "Desperate Housewives." Instead of Bree, Lynette, Susan and Gabrielle-- what if the housewives of Wisteria lane were Tori, PJ, Ani, and Bjork and Madonna could be like the Edie-- always around, but doesn't quite fit in.
Interesting link:
A discussion about Tori's music from a Catholic standpoint:
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=132539
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Announced Shrove Tuesday
This blog will feature a Tori related "snippet" each day until May 1st when the new album drops. I'm not a bloggy type of person, but I was trying to think of something to do to countdown to the release of "American Doll Posse" perhaps because Tori season is my favorite season of all. To preface, my first Tori season was way back in 1996. The internet was very slow back then, but it still connected me with other Tori fans and I began to decipher the mystery of Tori. BMG music club had accidently sent me "Boys For Pele." At first, I was frightened by the shrill voice and demanding harpsicord. I couldn't understand the lyrics and what I did understand made little sense, but the more I listened the more I became fascinated and the songs became a part of me and suddenly made perfect sense. Thus, my first Tori season was upon me, and it was a whirlwind time, full of discovery and mirth. It took me a full year to absorb "Boys For Pele" then I finally bought the previous albums, "Little Earthquakes" and "Under the Pink."
Cut to April 1998, the curtain was falling on my middle school career, one night on Easter break I stayed up late to flip between David Letterman and Jay Leno. Luckily, I switched to Dave just as he announced Tori's performance. I recognized her red hair from the CD he held, and then there she was, and I hit "record" on the vcr-- inadvertantly taping over an episode of my beloved X-files, but it was no matter, because here was Tori in her Tori Glory-- rocking out to "Spark" I watched it the first time, and then I immediately rewound and watched it again and again. I put on the closed caption to try and figure out the new lyrics. And Tori season was upon me-- from April 14 or so-- until the album came May 4th. I took the day off from my afterschool job and made my mom come pick me up from school and drive me to Best Buy. I went in and found the last copy on the shelf of the new album. I proudly took it up to the cashier, so eager to get it into my cd player and devour it. I told the cashier that I got the last one, and he disdainfully brought me back to reality, "oh..we have like 100 more in the back."
That Rocky summer of 1998, July 18th--- Tori came to Iowa, specifically to Ames. I got tickets, and my dad said he would drive, but he didn't want to go to the actual concert, so I made my dear friend Megan accompany me, and we set out for Ames. The audience members were so coool! Walking into the venue we saw people drawing lifelike portraits of Tori. Hair of every color, piercings of every make and size! I felt like I was a part of the Tori community. I snuck in my 35mm camera, and we made our way to the right side balcony seats-- $18 each, I thought how much they seemed to cost. Tori came out after six years of waiting and I honestly can't remember a lot of the concert because I was in complete awe of her talent. It was so amazing, I wanted to do the typical 14 year old "I love you Tori" but when I yelled out it sounded weak and probably didn't make it down to Tori's ears. It seemed important to do that though. After the concert, I had been instructed to run outside so we could get home and beat the traffic, as my dad had been waiting in the car for the past 3 or more hours. We went out the back door, and saw the bodyguards setting up barricades. We stood watching for a moment, realizing that people were flooding out and lining up-- Tori was going to come out of the building! I saw my dad leaning against the building and I told him to get in the barricade so he ran up front and got in the line up. I was hoping he could save us a spot, but by the time Megan and I got around we were pretty much stuck in the middle of the fervor. Tori finally came out and slowly made her way around. I stuck my camera up in the air, trying to get an semi-aerial shot of Tori, but when the pics came out the flash had only illuminated the back of the petchoulli scented hippy's standing directly in front of us. Tori slid around the left side of the barricade where Megan and I were located and I got in a semi-hug and I told Tori that I loved her-- Her reply, "Love you too, darling." Tori got on her bus and a little puppet head waved out the back of the window. My dad said, "Wow, I got to meet Tori-- she's so short and her hips are bigger then I thought. She's probably eating pizza now-- I saw the delivery guy come and deliver the pizza on to the bus." I was so jealous of my dad, but it was cool, cause I sort of got to meet Tori, even if it was very brief and impersonal and framed by the hippy guy's sweaty armpit.
Next Tori season is September 1999--- one short year later and Tori's releasing "To Venus and Back" I'm a new sophomore and eager to relive the joy of Tori. It felt like it had been forever since her last tour and I can't wait to see her again. This time I saw Tori before I had heard the new album, which was different because I didn't fully appreciate the songs live because I was hearing them for the first time. I recruited my friend Angie and once again, my dad got to drive us to Chicago, Tinley Park to see Tori on Sept. 11 1999. She was playing Alanis, Angie was more of an Alanis fan and so that was cool. I signed us up to have dinner at Gino's with other Toriphile's in the Chicago area. I was now more savvy as to the workings of the meet and greets, but we still couldn't get in to the venue early to see Tori. A bunch of other Tori people did, and my heart burned with the jealousy of a 1000 suns at their Tori autographs and joyful smiles. Again, my dad sat in the car and Tori was wonderful as always, but I prefer her in a smaller venue, the amphitheater atmosphere was too big, and I watched Tori on the jumbotron screen more than focusing in on her red matador costume-- "For the Bulls". The stand out for me was "Blood Roses" and also "Juarez" the "No Angel Came" was so haunting and I couldn't wait to hear the album. Wonderful Tori Season.
The next Tori season came in 2001, a year marred by tragedy, no doubt but the emotional outpouring is burned into my mind. "Strange Little Girls" saw Tori covering male artists songs, and also touring alone with the piano. I got tickets for Chicago and Minneapolis because I was greedy and not thinking about logistics and travel. 2 days after Sept. 11 attacks, my parents let me and my friend Sara drive to Chicago to see PJ Harvey-- (one of the best concerts i have ever been to-- but this isn't a blog about PJ Harvey) October of my senior year, and I was busy as Student Body President and Editor-In- Chief of the school paper. My parents let me go see Tori in Chicago and Minneapolis within a few days of each other on the condition that I didn't miss any school, no matter how tired I felt. Sara and I drove to Chicago and went to the arie crown theater at McCormick place, and this time I actually met tori at the meet and greet and got pictures and autographs, and I was so happy. Unfortunately, my Tori pictures got ruined because they were on a floppy disk which I kept in the glove box of my car-- for safe keeping-- and the whole disk melted. Yes, that was when the digital camera recorded directly to floppy disk. Good old days. Tori put up a really good concert, and we were supposed to drive back to Iowa that night, but we got so tired so we stayed at some random guy's house in Wrigleyville and drove home at 7am. We got caught in rush hour traffic and didn't make it to school until 1pm, I had to call the principal and explain why I couldn't be there to lead the student government meeting.
A few days later, I went to minneapolis (6 hour drive) with this girl I didn't know named, who was a little crazy-- or high, I'm not quite sure which it was. Well, I drove up there and the concert was awesome. Then I had to head back, but I got lost and I got tired and the girl had earlier said she could drive if I got tired, but then when I actually did get tired told me she didn't have a license and had actually never driven a car. She then fell asleep in the back seat for the remainder of the ride. I checked the map and realized I was completely lost and on a back highway-- I saw that the interstate met up again a long way down, so I just drove -- rather than back track and I was speeding along this dark and deserted highway at about 75 miles an hour along the foreign twisty harvest season road, right up until I almost hit a deer, and my life flashed before my eyes. What would have happened if I had hit that deer? I don't even want to know-- I didn't have a cell phone back then! I felt awful for endangering the life of the strange girl asleep in the back seat who never knew how close we came to being stranded and or dead. So my nerves shaken I then took the road at about 20 mph. Which added quite a bit of time to our journey. Finally, I made it back to the main road, but what should have taken 6 hours took 9. I dropped the girl off at her house in Iowa City at about 7:30. I drove directly home, changed my clothes after a long internal debate whether I should just crawl into bed and say screw school, but I made that deal with my parents and I wanted to prove I was responsible enough to drive to Minneapolis and see Tori all night. So I went to school, and didn't learn anything at all.
There is more Tori Season ahead, but I'm only through 2001 and I have been at this for an hour, so I will fill you in tomorrow- in the second installment of "American Doll Posse Countdown" Happy Shrove Tuesday-- tricky Tori
Cut to April 1998, the curtain was falling on my middle school career, one night on Easter break I stayed up late to flip between David Letterman and Jay Leno. Luckily, I switched to Dave just as he announced Tori's performance. I recognized her red hair from the CD he held, and then there she was, and I hit "record" on the vcr-- inadvertantly taping over an episode of my beloved X-files, but it was no matter, because here was Tori in her Tori Glory-- rocking out to "Spark" I watched it the first time, and then I immediately rewound and watched it again and again. I put on the closed caption to try and figure out the new lyrics. And Tori season was upon me-- from April 14 or so-- until the album came May 4th. I took the day off from my afterschool job and made my mom come pick me up from school and drive me to Best Buy. I went in and found the last copy on the shelf of the new album. I proudly took it up to the cashier, so eager to get it into my cd player and devour it. I told the cashier that I got the last one, and he disdainfully brought me back to reality, "oh..we have like 100 more in the back."
That Rocky summer of 1998, July 18th--- Tori came to Iowa, specifically to Ames. I got tickets, and my dad said he would drive, but he didn't want to go to the actual concert, so I made my dear friend Megan accompany me, and we set out for Ames. The audience members were so coool! Walking into the venue we saw people drawing lifelike portraits of Tori. Hair of every color, piercings of every make and size! I felt like I was a part of the Tori community. I snuck in my 35mm camera, and we made our way to the right side balcony seats-- $18 each, I thought how much they seemed to cost. Tori came out after six years of waiting and I honestly can't remember a lot of the concert because I was in complete awe of her talent. It was so amazing, I wanted to do the typical 14 year old "I love you Tori" but when I yelled out it sounded weak and probably didn't make it down to Tori's ears. It seemed important to do that though. After the concert, I had been instructed to run outside so we could get home and beat the traffic, as my dad had been waiting in the car for the past 3 or more hours. We went out the back door, and saw the bodyguards setting up barricades. We stood watching for a moment, realizing that people were flooding out and lining up-- Tori was going to come out of the building! I saw my dad leaning against the building and I told him to get in the barricade so he ran up front and got in the line up. I was hoping he could save us a spot, but by the time Megan and I got around we were pretty much stuck in the middle of the fervor. Tori finally came out and slowly made her way around. I stuck my camera up in the air, trying to get an semi-aerial shot of Tori, but when the pics came out the flash had only illuminated the back of the petchoulli scented hippy's standing directly in front of us. Tori slid around the left side of the barricade where Megan and I were located and I got in a semi-hug and I told Tori that I loved her-- Her reply, "Love you too, darling." Tori got on her bus and a little puppet head waved out the back of the window. My dad said, "Wow, I got to meet Tori-- she's so short and her hips are bigger then I thought. She's probably eating pizza now-- I saw the delivery guy come and deliver the pizza on to the bus." I was so jealous of my dad, but it was cool, cause I sort of got to meet Tori, even if it was very brief and impersonal and framed by the hippy guy's sweaty armpit.
Next Tori season is September 1999--- one short year later and Tori's releasing "To Venus and Back" I'm a new sophomore and eager to relive the joy of Tori. It felt like it had been forever since her last tour and I can't wait to see her again. This time I saw Tori before I had heard the new album, which was different because I didn't fully appreciate the songs live because I was hearing them for the first time. I recruited my friend Angie and once again, my dad got to drive us to Chicago, Tinley Park to see Tori on Sept. 11 1999. She was playing Alanis, Angie was more of an Alanis fan and so that was cool. I signed us up to have dinner at Gino's with other Toriphile's in the Chicago area. I was now more savvy as to the workings of the meet and greets, but we still couldn't get in to the venue early to see Tori. A bunch of other Tori people did, and my heart burned with the jealousy of a 1000 suns at their Tori autographs and joyful smiles. Again, my dad sat in the car and Tori was wonderful as always, but I prefer her in a smaller venue, the amphitheater atmosphere was too big, and I watched Tori on the jumbotron screen more than focusing in on her red matador costume-- "For the Bulls". The stand out for me was "Blood Roses" and also "Juarez" the "No Angel Came" was so haunting and I couldn't wait to hear the album. Wonderful Tori Season.
The next Tori season came in 2001, a year marred by tragedy, no doubt but the emotional outpouring is burned into my mind. "Strange Little Girls" saw Tori covering male artists songs, and also touring alone with the piano. I got tickets for Chicago and Minneapolis because I was greedy and not thinking about logistics and travel. 2 days after Sept. 11 attacks, my parents let me and my friend Sara drive to Chicago to see PJ Harvey-- (one of the best concerts i have ever been to-- but this isn't a blog about PJ Harvey) October of my senior year, and I was busy as Student Body President and Editor-In- Chief of the school paper. My parents let me go see Tori in Chicago and Minneapolis within a few days of each other on the condition that I didn't miss any school, no matter how tired I felt. Sara and I drove to Chicago and went to the arie crown theater at McCormick place, and this time I actually met tori at the meet and greet and got pictures and autographs, and I was so happy. Unfortunately, my Tori pictures got ruined because they were on a floppy disk which I kept in the glove box of my car-- for safe keeping-- and the whole disk melted. Yes, that was when the digital camera recorded directly to floppy disk. Good old days. Tori put up a really good concert, and we were supposed to drive back to Iowa that night, but we got so tired so we stayed at some random guy's house in Wrigleyville and drove home at 7am. We got caught in rush hour traffic and didn't make it to school until 1pm, I had to call the principal and explain why I couldn't be there to lead the student government meeting.
A few days later, I went to minneapolis (6 hour drive) with this girl I didn't know named, who was a little crazy-- or high, I'm not quite sure which it was. Well, I drove up there and the concert was awesome. Then I had to head back, but I got lost and I got tired and the girl had earlier said she could drive if I got tired, but then when I actually did get tired told me she didn't have a license and had actually never driven a car. She then fell asleep in the back seat for the remainder of the ride. I checked the map and realized I was completely lost and on a back highway-- I saw that the interstate met up again a long way down, so I just drove -- rather than back track and I was speeding along this dark and deserted highway at about 75 miles an hour along the foreign twisty harvest season road, right up until I almost hit a deer, and my life flashed before my eyes. What would have happened if I had hit that deer? I don't even want to know-- I didn't have a cell phone back then! I felt awful for endangering the life of the strange girl asleep in the back seat who never knew how close we came to being stranded and or dead. So my nerves shaken I then took the road at about 20 mph. Which added quite a bit of time to our journey. Finally, I made it back to the main road, but what should have taken 6 hours took 9. I dropped the girl off at her house in Iowa City at about 7:30. I drove directly home, changed my clothes after a long internal debate whether I should just crawl into bed and say screw school, but I made that deal with my parents and I wanted to prove I was responsible enough to drive to Minneapolis and see Tori all night. So I went to school, and didn't learn anything at all.
There is more Tori Season ahead, but I'm only through 2001 and I have been at this for an hour, so I will fill you in tomorrow- in the second installment of "American Doll Posse Countdown" Happy Shrove Tuesday-- tricky Tori
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